yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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