So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
