your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
