Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
