you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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