He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
