how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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