Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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