So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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