That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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