tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
