WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize