I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
