I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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