it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize