That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
