I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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