Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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