Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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