At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My ATM looks so different sober.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
