the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
