What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
