I puked a lego.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
