I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
