Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
