HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize