I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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