try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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