so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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