I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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