Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
