Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
