I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
