just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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