They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
