I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize