The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize