No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
