new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
