If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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