i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Congratulations! We have a period
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
