I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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