Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
