if only i could text you this smell
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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