nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
