so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
