i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
