I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
