Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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