spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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