You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
