Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
