She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
