Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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