I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
