But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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