how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
