i don't like sucking hair
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
