Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
