I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
