so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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